it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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