In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
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