Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
