I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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