omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
