You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
