what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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