why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
