please come you make the beer taste better
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I will pee on everything he values.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
