I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
