just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
My bed smells like the plague
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