I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
