some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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