I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
