Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
