your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
