so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
