He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
