In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
