Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
