how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
