Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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