I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
