She is in my trunk
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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