if i died would you start the facebook group?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
