Rock
Scissors
Fuck
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
