in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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