He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
