slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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