end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
