So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
