Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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