I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
