You're a womanizer and a bitch.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
