I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
