I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
