i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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