Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
