you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
