plz talk dirty to me
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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