the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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