just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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