glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
