Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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