Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
