South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
