You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
