I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize