Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
