I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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