My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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